Whoo Whaa! 

                     (Verse: 1)
                     Did you hear about the lady from Spitz.
                     Oh my she has some great big WHOO WAA
                     She grew them when she was young
                      Bigger than her big fat bum.

                     Big John was tall and strong
                     He liked to pull out his  WHOO WAA
                     Everybody knew,
                     They were a likely two

                     They’d Whoo Waa in the morning
                     And they’d Whoo Waa in the night
                     They’d Whoo Waa in the afternoon
                     Until they’d get it right.
                     And if I had a coin for every Whoo Waa that  they’ve seen
                     I’d wager it at five to one there Whoo Waa’s unclean.

                     (Verse: 2)       
                     By the time she was thirty three
                     Her Whoo Waa hung down to her knees
                     And by the time she was forty one
                     Her Whoo Waa was all gone.

                      He was so proud he’d gloat
                      Thinking of the girls he WHOO WAA’d
                      But as his age got old
                      His Whoo Waa it went cold

                       (Chorus):                     

                       (Verse 3):
                       He said I am the man from Spick
                       And yes I’ve got a great big WHOO WAA
                       Everybody knows
                       It barely fits in me clothes

                       And now I’ve gained me wit
                       About the woman with the great big
                       WHOO WAA
                       The only price to pay
                        Is practice everyday

                        (Chorus):
                        So they Whoo Waa’d in the morning
                        And they Whoo Waa’d in the night
                        They Whoo Waa’d in the afternoon
                        * AND FINALLY GOT IT RIGHT
                        And if I had a coin for every Whoo Waa That they’ve seen
                        I’d wager it at five to one there Whoo Waa’s  unclean

                        They Whoo Waa’d in the morning
                        And they Whoo Waa’d in the night
                        They Whoo Waa’d in the afternoon
                        * SOMETIMES EVEN TWICE
                        The moral of the story Is don’t give up you see
                        Your Whoo Waa will Whoo Waa someday Like my Whoo Waa and me

                        You’re Whoo Waa will Whoo Wa someday like Whoo Waa………

                        * And…. ME      * And me     * Whatever

Down to Old Maui “Pirates Version” 

It's a damned tough life, full of toil and strife
We PIRATES undergo.
And we don't give a damn when the gale has stopped
How hard the wind did blow.
We're homeward bound! 'Tis a grand old sound
On a good ship taut and free,
And we don't give a damn when we drink our rum
With the girls on old Maui.

Rolling down to old Maui, my boys,
Rolling down to old Maui.
We're bound for port with loot in store
Rolling home to old Maui.

Once more we sail with a northerly gale
Our Roger flying free.
And them coconut fronds in them tropic lands
We soon again shall see.
Six hellish months we've passed away
In our prowling of the sea,
And now we're bound for port once more,
Rolling down to old Maui.  

We'll fill our holds with the Frenchmen’s gold
Their wines and liquor too.
Our mast and yards can take the hits
their guns and cannon threw.
When our names they hear their filled with fear
All across the seven seas
But we’ll think on that as we laugh and chat
With the girls of old Maui.  

How soft the breeze of the tropic seas
Now the fight is far astern,
And them native maids in them island glades
Are awaiting our return.
Even now their big black eyes look out
Hoping some fine day to see
Our baggy sails running 'fore the gales
Rolling down to old Maui.  

And now we sail with a favoring gale
Towards our island home.
Our mainmast sprung, our looting done,
And we ain't got far to roam.
Our stuns'l booms are carried away
What care we for that sound?
A living gale is after us,
Thank God we're homeward bound!

And now we're anchored in the bay
With our booty in our hands
The smell of swine and sweet French wine
They greet us back to land.
And now ashore we'll have good fun
We'll paint them beaches red
Awaking in the arms of a woman
With a big fat aching head.  

The Derelict

I was the staunchest of our fleet
Till the sea rose beneath our feet
Unheralded, in hatred past all measure.
Into his pits he stamped my crew,
Buffeted, blinded, bound and threw,
Bidding me eyeless wait upon his pleasure.

Man made me, and my will
Is to my maker still,
Whom now the currents con, the rollers steer – (Rollers steer)
Lifting forlorn to spy
Trailed smoke along the sky,
Falling afraid lest any keel come near!

Wrenched as the lips of thirst,
Wried, dried, and split and burst,
Bone-bleached my decks, wind-scoured to the graining;
And jarred at every roll
The gear that was my soul
Answers the anguish of my beams' complaining.  

For life that crammed me full,
Gangs of the prying gull
That shriek and scrabble on the riven hatches!
For roar that dumbed the gale,
My hawse-pipes guttering wail,
Sobbing my heart out through the uncounted watches!

Blind in the hot blue ring
Through all my points I swing --
Swing and return to shift the sun anew.
Blind in my well-known sky
I hear the stars go by,
Mocking the prow that cannot hold one true!

White on my wasted path
Wave after wave in wrath
Frets 'gainst his fellow, warring where to send me.
Flung forward, heaved aside,
Witless and dazed I bide
The mercy of the comber that shall end me.

North where the bergs careen,
The spray of seas unseen
Smokes round my head and freezes in the falling;
South where the corals breed,
The footless, floating weed
Folds me and fouls me, strake on strake upcrawling.

I that was clean to run
My race against the sun --
Strength on the deep, am bawd to all disaster --
Whipped forth by night to meet
My sister's careless feet,
And with a kiss betray her to my master!

Man made me, and my will
Is to my maker still --
To him and his, our peoples at their pier:
Lifting in hope to spy
Trailed smoke along the sky,
Falling afraid lest any keel come near!

I’LL HAVE ME BEER

I’ll have me beer, I’ll have me beer
And then I’ll have no fear, I’ll have me beer
I’ll have me beer, I’ll have me beer
When I’ve had it up to here, I’ll have me beer

When I wake up in the morning
When I brave the bloody storm
When I head upon the shore
I’ll have me beer

Keep your Brandy in the cupboard
Keep your Champaign for your lover
Keep your wine and whiskey too
I’ll have me beer

You take a date out on the town
And you’d like to fool around
And you need a little courage
Have a beer

You’ll find out if she’s a flirt
And the slap wont even hurt
When you try to get in her skirt
If you have beer

In the pub at night
Someone’s always trying to fight
Cause you know your in the right
When you have beer

It’s made of mostly water
Makes it easy for to swaller

      -          What? For to swaller
-          Yep, mm hmm, dats right mmm, hmm. Get’r done
-          (Banjo)

You’ll think that you can sing
And do most anything
Good will and God bless
The man who invented beer

He’s my hero after all
A can or bottle or a draw
It’ll make you ten feet tall
I’ll have me beer

It’s there when you need it most
Always ready for a toast
A little or a lot
But most of all

It goes with anything
Like beef or ham or beans
And in the morning
Pour it on my cereal

-          That’s disgusting!

(chorus)

      -          Hey barkeep, pour me another beer
-          Sorry, we’re out of beer
-          What?! (Gasp!)
-          Alright, give me a rum
-          (Laughter) yea…

I’ll have me rum, I’ll have me rum
Just to have some fun, I’ll have me rum
I’ll have me rum, I’ll have me rum
Now the song is done I’ll have me rum

      -          (Bar talk) That’s right, better then nothing I always say.
-          Yea
-          It’s an acquired taste
-     Rum's better anyway
-     Give me two of 'em
-     Make it a double
-     Gets the job done you know what I mean…

Captain Curse 

I’ve been around the world on a ship that’s made of wood
I seen my share of battles, and men both bad and good
Murderers, thieves, ravenous rogues and men who were far worse
By far the most offensive was the man named Captain Curse

With a monkey at his shoulder by the name of Scurvy Pete
The captain had one wooden leg but somehow had two feet
He wore a patch over an eye lost to a musket ball
With his hat and coat and slimy looks he stood just four feet tall

His teeth were yellowed from scurvy, and some were falling out
His skin was thick and leathered; he had a case of gout
He wore a brace of pistols, and so did Scurvy Pete
Captain curse was the most fearsome fellow you’d ever chance to meet!

He once met a whore by the name of Lucy Blow
He paid her in corn liquor, and she put on a show
It started with a dance and you think you know the rest
But it ended rather quick, with Scurvy Pete inside her dress!

In battle on the fifth of may, ole curse was quite a sight
He bellowed orders to the crew to get into the fight
When the gunner said he was out of shot, you know what ole Curse said?
“Load the guns with rats, me lads, and paint their vessel red!”

Ode to a Pirate

Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Gimmie way hey oh Gimmie tiddlie eye oh
Gimmie way hey oh Gimmie tiddlie eye oh

Gimmie pirates life at sea
Gimmie lots of beer on the second tier
Of a ship named Galilee
I’ll sail the salt filled waters
And when it’s time for mutiny
I’ll turn the ocean red with the captain’s head
And leave my name in history

Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh

Way beyond the farm
Where I left me home and me mother alone
And let the press gang twist me arm
I found me sea legs fit real well
And me stomach did agree
That we left the scene on a brigantine
A mighty ship named Galilee

Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Gimmie way hey oh Gimmie tiddlie eye oh
Gimmie way hey oh Gimmie tiddlie eye oh

Gimmie pistol and me sword
For I’ve got the blood running through my veins
To be of legend and of lore
I’ll sail the sail sea waters and on one thing I agree
I’ll become the man I said I am or I’ll surely die trying

Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Gimmie way hey oh Gimmie tiddlie eye oh
Gimmie way hey oh Gimmie tiddlie eye oh

Gimmie pirates life at sea
Gimmie none to fear as I leave peer
On a ship named Galilee
I’ve sailed the salt filled waters
And I’ve lived through mutiny
I turned the ocean red with the captain’s head
And left my name in history

I’ve become the man I said I am
And left my name… In history

Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh
Away-ay oh A-Wah a way-ay oh

Drink Drink Drink

And we’ll drink, drink, drink. Our rum and tequila
We’ll drink, drink, drink. Don’t want ta we need ta
We’ll drink, drink, drink. Beer and Margarita
And drink all our troubles away

When I was young I swore to be famous
But now that I’ve aged I prefer to be nameless
Alone on the sea we sip rum between us
And drink all our troubles away

I remember a time when I had pretty young lady
A house on a hill and a three month old baby
She left me one day for a man in the navy
So I drink all me troubles away

If life were fair I’d been born richer
Be back on me farm with six hundred acres
Instead of at sea with privateer fakers
Drinking my troubles away

When Cap lost his leg he swore to get even
He picked up his limb and hurled it back at them
Cursing their ship and swearing to sink’em
While drinking his troubles away

If I had me wish I’d wish to be happy
Somewhere on a beach with me plunder a napping
With an islander girl as happy as I am
Drinking for pleasure today

The Prickly Bitch

The prickly bitch is mine ( MINE )
The prickly bitch is mine
If ever a ship of ships there was,
The prickly bitch is mine

Cannons off the bow
Big strong spine

      ·          Wait, wait, wait. The spine of a ship is called the Keel
·          Yes I know, but that doesn’t rhyme

A nautical addict’s sensation
The prickly bitch is mine
Ahh – Ooo 
Ahoo

Chief gunner’s at the ready
With the enemy in sight
Sebastian’s pacing to and fro
Ready for a fight, and then our
Hearts beat faster as we’re waiting to arrive
Wondering which of the prickly bitch’s crew will come back alive.

ME

The prickly bitch is mine ( MINE )
The prickly bitch is mine
If ever a ship of ships there was
The prickly bitch is mine
We’ll sail across the ocean
 In one straight line

·          Wait, wait, wait. If you wanted to sail a ship in a straight line you would say,      Steady as she goes

·          Yes, I know, but again, that doesn’t rhyme

A nautical addict’s sensation
The prickly bitch is mine
Ahh – Ooo
Ahoo

Cabin boy’s in the corner
Polishing up his sword
Patch is at the wheel of the ship
Looking kind of bored, you know that
Once we have our day, we’ll drink the rum and sort
The booty of which, the prickly bitch will carry back to port

YEA

The prickly bitch is mine ( MINE )
The prickly bitch is mine
If ever a ship of ships there was
The prickly bitch is mine
We’ll… sneak up on the folks we hate
And take their booty from behind

·          WHAT?

·          Don’t ask

·          Don’t tell

A nautical addict’s sensation
The prickly bitch is mine
Ahh – Ooo 
Ahoo

Me girl she’s made of oak
Me girl she don’t complain
In fact she’s at her best
When she’s caught out in the rain
Her beauty’s just beyond me words
I love her straight down to the core
But when the only chick’s the prickly bitch

We’ll soon be bound for shore
(We're soon to get a whore)

HEY

The prickly bitch is mine ( MINE )
The prickly bitch is mine
If ever a ship of ships there was
The prickly bitch is mine.
Cannons off the stern
A dangerous behind

·          Boys, boys, boys. You both can have her, she makes me itch

·          They’re talking about the boat you drunk monkey

A nautical addict’s sensation
The prickly bitch is mine

Scurvy Lousy Blokes

Our scandalous crew, our murderous crew, we live a life that’s free
We rob and loot and drink and sing when we’re out to sea

Our gunner’s name is Deadeye Blanks, and he is bald as stone
We always keep an eye on him, he can’t be left alone
We caught him one day with a linstock lit and cabin boy at his feet
With his trousers down and his behind packed and powdered nice and neat!

Our Cabin boy is a short sneak thief as hairy as an ape
He been thrown out of every brothel and bar from the harbor to the cape
The captain caught the cabin boy with his whore a’kissing her neck
“She cost me ten!” The captain screamed, and chased him round the deck.

Our captain is a fat old drunk and he was worst of all
Drunk one night, he went aloft slipped and had a fall.
He crashed on the deck as hard as a rock, and when we ran to see
The captain had regained himself and stood there casually

Our First Mate, who goes by patch, he likes to dress real fine
He turns down ale and turns down rum in favor of fine wine
He’s fit and trim and has a tan and ladies like him best
But we all know when he’s in bed he truly fails the test!

·         Hey wait- how do we know that?

·         You’ll find out…

·         Ughhh!

When we get back to shore, you can be sure, we’re still some drunken thieves,
We head for the nearest pub and put a whore upon our knees
The brothel is a fine place for some filthy rogues
And the whores all scream, as we leave the scene- “You scurvy lousy blokes!

Blow The Man Down

Oh, blow the man down, bullies, blow the man down
Way aye blow the man down
Oh, blow the man down, bullies, blow him away
Give me some time to blow the man down!

As I was a walking down Paradise Street
Way aye blow the man down
A pretty young damsel I chanced for to meet.
Give me some time to blow the man down!

She was round in the counter and bluff in the bow,
Way aye blow the man down
So I took in all sail and cried, "Way enough now."
Give me some time to blow the man down!

So I tailed her my flipper and took her in tow
Way aye blow the man down
And yardarm to yardarm away we did go.
Give me some time to blow the man down!

But as we were going she said unto me
Way aye blow the man down
"There's a spanking full-rigger just ready for sea."
Give me some time to blow the man down!

But as soon as that packet was clear of the bar
Way aye blow the man down
The mate knocked me down with the end of a spar.
Give me some time to blow the man down!

It's starboard and larboard on deck you will sprawl
Way aye blow the man down
For Kicking Jack Williams commands the Black Ball.
Give me some time to blow the man down!

So I give you fair warning before we belay,
Way aye blow the man down
Don't ever take head of what pretty girls say.
Give me some time to blow the man down!

Tiggo Bitty

Gather round young sailor men
And listen to me tale
For I’ve gone from here to Tripilee
On a Schooner with one sail
I’ve fought in many battles
But one stands out in memory
When we lost against a fair maiden
And her crew of twenty three

And I never seen a woman that could look so fine
And I never met a man that could cross her line
Nobody did what Tiggo Bitty did
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Ew Wa Oh, HEY
Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Gather round me ladies
And I’ll show ye all me scars
But the one that cut the deepest
Is the one that’s on me heart
I’ve fought through rank
Seen ships that sank
Watched many fine men go and walk the plank
And I never seen a woman that could shoot so well
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Ew Wa Oh, HEY
Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Gather round me privateers
And join me in me song
At first you won’t believe it
But I’ll convince ye that ye’re wrong
For you never met so ruthless
With beauty just as well
The power to entrance you
And the strength to unleash hell !

HEY

And I never seen a woman that could look so fine
And I never seen a man that could cross her line
And nobody did what Tiggo Bitty did
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Ew Wa Oh, HEY
Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Gather round most everyone and join me in a prayer
For I long for Tiggo Bitty
More than I dare share
The last day that I talked with her

• Wait, you talked with her
• Well it was more her doing the talking. You see, she had a dagger at my cheek
• HA, ha, ha, What’d she say?
• Well she smiled and said…

Go and tell the world about me
And how I spared your life in Tripilee

HEY

And I never seen a woman that could look so fine
And I never met a man that could cross her line
And nobody did what Tiggo Bitty did
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow 

Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Ew Wa Oh, HEY
Ew Wa Oh, Tiggo Bitty
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow
Tiggo Bitty Captain of the Crow

DEVIL KNOWS OUR NAME

I’m a brave young privateer
My sword is swift I have no fear
Towards fame and fortune I will steer
And the devil knows my name

A crew that’s young, a crew that’s bold
We’ll use their gold to fill our hold
Our roger makes their blood run cold
And the devil knows my name

And the devil knows our name
But he fears us just the same
Through ladies lips and pirate ships
From the ocean to the main
Throughout the pouring rain
On a ship that has no name
We’ll drink and we’ll kill and we’ll fight and we’ll steal
For fortune and for fame
We’ll cross the Spanish Main
And burn it down in flames
We’ll loot and we’ll plunder
Through the lightning and thunder

And the devil knows our name

With a heave and a ho and set and pull and the devil knows our name
With a heave and a ho and set and pull and the devil knows our name

We do what we want when we go to shore
The men all quake and the ladies scorn
We may swing by a noose in the early morn
Cause the devil knows our name

Our sword is swift, our wits are keen
We pay no allegiance to the king
We’ll sally forth to sights unseen
And the devil knows our name