| For 200 years, between 1600 and 1800, in the backs of the
minds of many of those hailing from Europe and Russia, was vampires. A
superstition? Possibly, and if so it's one that can be traced back to 1047
when the word vampire, or the Russian equivalent 'upir', was first used
in print. Or maybe the superstitions didn't start until the mid 1400's
with
Vlad the Impaler. Regardless, during this time there were indeed tall
tales, poems, and even people being imprisoned for vampiric crimes. In
1897, without a doubt the most famous vampire did appear in print "Bram
Stokers Dracula", based on the aforementioned Vlad, which is
still in print today. Thousands of books and
hundreds of movies later
it is fairly safe to say that there is not a single person on the planet
that hasn't heard of the vampire (in some form).
Lets get to the facts, shall we...
Q: Was there a Vampire by the name of Dracula?
A: Well, yes and no. Dracula, or Dracul (which means dragon or devil
depending on where you're from) was indeed the closest thing we have to a
prince of darkness, but sorry, no fangs. Blood sucking maybe (I'm
speculating here), but no fangs. Dracula was given the birth name of Vlad.
At 17 he was given an army by the Turks and by the time he was 25 had his
own throne. He would pride himself on how he killed people. He'd invite
hundreds of people to banquets, old, sick, poor, or even nobles, and kill
them all in various ways. Most noted and gruesome being his trademark of
impalement, leaving them speared high on a stick to die a slow death over
sometimes several days. When eventually he died on the battle field,
through either an assassination by one of his own noblemen or an accident
by one of his own men, the sultan stuck 'ol Dracula's head on pike, to
prove he was dead, and buried the body. Several hundred years later his
burial spot was excavated but the coffin was never found. The problem is
we're not sure if he was buried in a coffin. Only the very rich could
afford coffins in those days. Though I'm sure he had plenty of money while
he was living, once he was dead they probably just threw him in a hole.
Q: What about Dracula's tuxedo and cape?
A: Not sure the significance of the tux but according to
one web site I found "...members of the Order of the Dragon (a secret
fraternal order of knights of which Dracula's father was a member of) had
a special costume to wear on Sundays. It was a red garment with a black
cape over it . . . that's why the fictional Dracula wears a cape!"
Q: So what was the real reason people thought vampires actually
existed?
A: Here's some information a friend of mine dug up (pun intended :)...
When a suspected vampire was disinterred it was found:
a. corpse intact with little decay
b. limbs limber, no rigor mortis
c. complexion of corpse ruddy and fresh
d. nails and hair appear to have continued to grow
e. liquid blood around the corpse's mouth or pooled in bottom of the
casket
f. slender people have plumped up after death
g. corpse changes position from that in which it was buried.
h. when the corpse is staked it groans loudly accompanied by spurting of
blood.
As gruesome as all this sounds, all of the points listed above are common
characteristics of the body in various states of decay.
Q: What about crucifix's and vampires
A: The idea can be traced back to as far as the 16th century when
Christians thought vampires to be a sign of Satanism. However, the
crucifix was not used against vampires until the 19th century, for it was
then that it was detailed in the writings of Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Q: What about garlic and vampires?
A: Well, uh, they hate the stuff. In fact it was used in some places to
detect vampires. If you didn't like garlic you must be a vampire. However,
although it was legend before then, this was also first introduced in
literary form in Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Q: Sunlight, surly vampires hate sunlight?
A: Only in Hollywood it would seem. In fact, did you know that medieval
vampires walked around in the daylight just like everyone else? Even in
Bram Stoker's Dracula a vampire could be out in the daylight, they just
weren't quite as strong. Over the past few hundred years however vampires
have slowly become allergic (deadly allergic) to sunlight.
Pros and Cons of Dating a Vampire
pro
- Long relationships
- Alowed to stay out late
- Easy weight loss
- Centuries of experience
- Immune to all veneral diseases
- Always has amazing stamina
- Loves neck nibbling
- Rarely interested in arguing religion
- Never comes home with garlic breath
- Don't have to worry what color of cloths to wear
con
- Spend your time in a hypnotic daze
- Parents can be hell
- You always feel tired(loss of blood)
- Oral sex can be lethal
- Always has cold feet(and blood)
- Never able to spend the day in bed
- Pet names that give you chills
- Strange friends
- Giggles at funerals
- Hard to win an argument
- No romantic sunsets
- May forget own strength during orgasm
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