Musical Blades

Blood, Sweat, & Beers 
Lyrics: Doss 
Music: Doss, Irwin, Tucker 

I’ve been through storms and hurricanes 

with Guinness pumping through my veins, 

But the ocean is me better half, 

She's got me all locked up just like a ball and chain, 

And now the weekend’s here again, 

I’ll find a dirty bar and then, 

We’ll line em up,  count em off, 

1,2,3,4,5, let’s get 6 sheets to the wind, 

So let's hit town, and 

Tear it down 

Raise your fist and beat the drum, 

Fill your mug and drink the rum, 

It’s time to have a little fun, 

A party full of cheers, (YEAH!) 

A lot of drink, a lot of fight 

A lot of laughs til morning light 

It’s gonna be a helluva night! 

Blood, Sweat and Beers 

Boasts are made and stories told, 

Of gems and treasure chests of gold, 

Of cunning deeds of sailors bold, 

The music plays, the women dance, 

And the night unfolds, 

The drink will flow and the blood will spill 

And if the boys wanna fight, you better let em, 

Until we get our fill! 

So let's hit town, and 

Tear it down!!! 

 

Heads, Hearts, & Tails 
Lyrics & Music: Irwin 

Now let me see your tankards high 

Well, we’ve come from a foreign land to bring you songs and cheers 

We’ll set this whole damned town alight, the fire starts right here 

Before we set this room ablaze we’ll let you join our crew 

To climb aboard we have a list of things you’ll have to do 

Now do you wanna dance until the darkness kills the light? 

And do you wanna scream until our demons run in fright? 

Well f you think you’re of the sort to start a mighty fire 

Then grab your mug and come aboard and join the pirate choir 

Now we are here to drink and we are here to sing 

And we are here to steal your gold and all your shiny things 

New we want you to dance and we want you to scream 

And we want you to recognize the villains of your dreams 

Come on and lift your voices, come on a raise some hell 

Come on and start a fire only sex and beer and quell 

We’re here to start a riot, we’re here to break some laws 

We’re coming here to steal your hearts 

We’re coming for you all 

Come show me how you kiss goodbye 

Now we have landed in this pub with fire in our hearts 

We tend to light that fire faster than our counterparts 

Let's you and I do something we can never quite forget 

Let’s make a blonde, a red or two, and maybe three brunettes 

Now if you won’t lend me your ears come lend me something else 

‘Cause you seem like your kind of fight’s best done below the belt 

I see the fire in your eyes and smile on your lips 

Let’s put a bounce up top and put a swing down in those hips 

 

Pirate Man: 
Lyrics & Music: Doss, Irwin, Tucker 

Young William lived in Galway where the ladies are so sweet 

He worked along the shipyards no ocean at his feet 

A ragged ship came sailing in, the docks it would break through 

And the captain came a’runnin’ out followed by his crew 

William took his chances and patched that vessel up 

The captain was so grateful he said, “Boy, you are in luck!” 

We lost ourselves a dozen men out on the open sea 

And now we’ve got a vacancy that’s opened up for thee 

Lace your boots and clean your saber 

We’ll drink ‘til we can’t stand, you’ll be a pirate, man 

In the morning we’ll weight anchor 

You’ll drink ‘til you can’t stand, you’ll be a pirate, man 

Now, William went from cookie straight to master of the sails 

The captain was a bastard and the crew was tough as nails 

He lead them on a mutiny, the captain’s throat was slit 

He threw that body overboard and claimed that bloody ship 

Took my first trip on the open seas 

It was everything I thought it could be 

Now he’s counting rubies with a girl in every port 

His name is praised in every pub and cursed in every court 

He’s the hero of the ocean, the savior of the seas 

But William fell and bumped his head and it was all a dream 

Go to work and pay your taxes 

You’ll smell like fish again, you’re not a pirate, man 

Make your bed and change your linens 

You’ll live with Mom and Dad, she’ll wash your socks again 

Drink the wine and eat some wafers 

You’ll go to mass again where you’ll confess your sins 

Shearing shape and mashin’ ‘taters 

You’re not a pirate, man 

You’re stuck in Ireland 

 

Banshee 
Lyrics: Doss 

The Banshee moans in the dead of night, 

Oh ry, oh ry oh ry, 

The Banshee moans in the dead of night, 

As she slowly glides under moonlight, 

Oh ry, oh ry, oh ry 

The Banshee cries in the dead of night, 

The Banshee cries in the dead of night, 

And those that hear her shake in fright, 

Hear the sounds of chaos, steel and shot, 

When the wind fills up her sails 

Heed the chorus of the gnashing teeth, 

Better run when the Banshee wails, 

The Banshee screams in the dead of night, 

The Banshee screams in the dead of night, 

And blood will sate her appetite, 

The Banshee howls in the dead of night, 

The Banshee howls in the dead of night, 

The carnage left after the fight, 

The Banshee sails in the dead of night, 

The Banshee sails in the dead of night, 

And her legend echoes to incite, 

 

Slainte 
Instrumental
Music: Doss, Irwin, Tucker 

 

Beneath The Irish Sky 
Lyrics & Music: Doss 

There's no place that I'd rather be (Beneath the Irish Sky) 

Nowhere on the Earth for me 

There's no place that I feel so free 

My heart is painted orange and green 

Ooooh yeah, beneath the Irish sky 

I've traveled all through Londontown and yeah, it's pretty great 

A man can have a jolly time, share gin with all his mates, 

Buckingham, Abbey Road, the Royal Albert Hall 

But I hear the sounds of Galway and I have to heed the call 

I've seen the best of Paris, The Cathedral, Notre Dame 

I've drank champagne in posh chateaus and dined upon the Seine, 

I've gone atop the Eifull I've visited the Louvre, 

But it's music out of Sligo That makes me have to move (Hey!) 

I've lost myself in Venice and I've sailed the Grand Canal 

Drank wine under the Bridge of Sighs, It's great for one's morale 

And Saint Mark’s Basilica was quite a site to see, 

But a Jameson in Limerick is more the thing for me, 

I know that there are many other places ‘cross the lands 

The pyramids, Taj Majhal, and all the promised lands, 

I've been all round this great big world, and I've seen so many scenes, 

But take me back to Ireland and dress me up in greens (Hey!) 

From Dublin up to Derry, all around the Ring of Kerry, 

The love and our pride, will never subside, 

Beneath the Irish sky 

From the hills of Connemara, looking oe'r the Cliffs of Moher, 

May the road always rise, 

May you have all your highs 

Beneath the Irish Sky 

 

Dying Song 
Lyrics & Music: Irwin 

A nameless explorer trudging onward, forging my own bleak path 

Or finding adventure where I wandered, earning my rest at last 

Looking back I made the best, leaving the marks I could 

Treasure me now and think back often, remember me how you would 

Gather my bones and make them quiet 

Bid me to rest my head 

Send me slumber vast and deep at night in my own warm bed 

My soul longs for comfort but my heart still wanders on 

So gather my bones and make them silent 

Sing me a dying song 

My heartache gives way to deep thanksgiving and woe steps aside to pride 

My only remorse’s with time I wasted elsewhere but by your side 

As I repose I’ll dream of waiting somewhere beyond that wall 

I’d rather regret an action taken than one I let fear forestall 

When my body falls away and I’ve passed from your eyes 

When I’ve my final rest and my pain at last subsides 

When my reward’s at last at hand and I can finally fly 

There’ll be no more goodbyes 

So when you lay down at last to rest, your soul to at last know peace 

You’ll wonder then only  if you’ll find me somewhere in your relief 

I’ll wait for you in your deepest slumber, I’ll visit you in your dreams 

I’ll call you by name and love no other, I’ll wait for you near calm streams 

 

The Estrogen 
Lyrics & Music: Doss 

They've got Sally in the galley, 

They've got Nancy in the nest, 

They've got Mabel on the cable, 

Visit Mary to confess, 

They've got Alice on the quarterdeck 

And Libby's in the hold, 

They're the crewmates of the Estrogen, 

And they're ready to unload 

Don't underestimate them matey, 

Though we know they look so fine, 

The fairer sex does not fight fair, 

They'll get you every time, 

They'll woo you with their wiles 

And they'll steal away your hearts, 

Then leave you penniless and drunk, 

As their ship again departs, 

Gotta keep your guard up, men, 

And don't be fooled again, 

The pleasure that they promise, 

Is just a tool to suck you in, 

They're undefeated in the game, 

And never have drawn blood, 

Give a smile, bat their eyes 

And you're the loser in the club 

They're tough and they are ruthless, 

They are rough and they are crude, 

But the pretty package really hides, 

The spunk and attitude, 

But best not rub em wrong boys 

They are likely to explode, 

And for a week bout every month, 

They go into god mode. 

 

When This Day Is Won 
Lyrics: Hall 
Music: Doss 

Well we left Port Royal with a longing for adventure and a venture wrapped up in glee 

A mighty vessel four scores and three in length, a hundred men and artillery. 

And we’d sing our songs and we’d raise tankards, the Brits are already dead…. 

They just don’t know it yet! 

Run out the guns til there’s nothing left to see 

And we’ll soon tell stories of the kings Navy 

With a woman in each arm and a belly of rum… 

When this day is won 

And by our sweat and our shiver we will stand and deliver all our crew from a rule of tyranny 

And to a flag of black we must pay respect if we’re to live and we wanna die free 

Cast doubt of mortal sin as we stove her in, for a cause as big as the sea 

And let this day make way to a new sunrise… 

And when we set to war we did load our cannons and we fired on the British Navy 

Then we boarded portside with a cutlass swipe and taught a lesson of humility 

And the crew descried a sudden wave of vigor when the admiral fell to his knees 

And the day glorified with a battle cry… 

 

Whiskey In Pawn 
Lyrics: Hall 
Music: Doss 

‘Twas a fine summer evening on the fourteenth of June 

I drank for a bottle, sang a fine Irish tune 

And I stumbled home drunk live a Liverpool skunk 

And my bottles in waiting had all gone away 

I said, “What the hell?!” and started to yell 

Said, “Nuh uh, no sir, it’s a quarter past twelve!” 

And I waited for you ‘til the day was all gone 

Ya’ Liverpool bastard, your whiskey’s in pawn! 

And I’ll finish the day with a fine Irish song 

I waited for you ‘til the day was all gone 

Ya’ Liverpool bastards, your whiskey’s in pawn! 

I’ve not had a job for a year and nine months 

She said, “Maybe if you just wake up before lunch!” 

And I’ve cried and I’ve prayed but the bills were not paid 

Now your bottles in waiting had all gone away 

You’ve done it before, she said, “Do it again!” 

Bring home some money, start drinking, and then 

Take a bath in the lake ‘til the stench is all done 

Ya’ Liverpool bastard, your whiskey’s in pawn! 

I’ve come to Dublin just chasing a dream 

Met a fine, Irish woman just cute as can be 

But the years have now passed, seems fun never lasts 

Now my bottles in waiting had all gone away 

I could get mad but I should be glad 

That someone like her is with someone like me 

Oh, I’ll get a job and wake up at dawn 

Long enough to get my booze out of pawn 

 

Kill Them All Dead: 
Lyrics & Music: Irwin 

There once was a man liked to call himself “Troy” 

He stood head and shoulders to me 

And Troy liked to brag that he’d best any man 

And drink ‘til he couldn’t but see 

But one day I found myself facing old Troy demanding I pay him a fee 

He bayed like a banshee and fell like an oak, his lifeblood now forfeit to me 

With our wits and our fists we will kill them all dead 

And send them below ‘til the oceans turn red 

And then straight down to hell where we’ll kill them again 

These bastards against us we’ll kill them all dead 

This ship had a captain when I came aboard, the darkest of spirits had he 

He worked at the crew with the cat and the screws and swore we’d die bleeding at sea 

‘Til one day the crew had enough of this man and set the old coxswain to fly 

The captain I’d be of a crew now at ease for the blood in my fingers and eyes 

Now I spend my days in the warmth of the sun drifting the winds as I please 

And I’m ne’er to abide any ship cross my side without paying their ultimate fee 

If I’d have been told when I first came aboard that someday a villain I’d be 

I’d never believe what has passed now indeed as we run forth with treacherous glee 

 

Shadow Of The Sea 
Lyrics & Music: Doss, Irwin, Tucker 

We’ve got 14 kegs of Spanish Rum, we’ve got 14 more below 

We’ve got three months left of burning sun and fathoms left to row 

We’ve got powder, lead, and spider shot, we’ve got blunderbuss and steel. 

We’ve got carcass, pitch, and burning hell and a madman ‘hind the wheel 

We’ve found endless plunder for our hold, we’ve drunk endless skins of wine 

We’ve got rot-gut ales to dull your mind that burns like iodine 

Some have sailed for glory, fair and true, some have sailed for fame and gold 

We have sailed to take your life and blood, and suff’ring yet untold 

So I have come with outrage and with guns 

We’ll pay the price for sins I’ve not yet done 

We’re Davy Jone’s own nightmare, we’re the pestilence you flee 

We’ll fly the flag of bloody war 

The Shadow of the Seas 

Our corruption knows no mortal bounds, our ambition knows no scale 

Our libido make ol’ Cupid pale, our resentment will not fail 

We can slowly take your world apart, no indulgence can prevent 

We can burn your cities with a glance, with malicious ill intent 

My rage will reign well past your dying day 

You’ll run today but you’ll sleep below the bay 

 

Take This Town 
Lyrics & Music: Irwin 

Tonight we’re gonna take this city out for a spin 

Tonight we’re making lists of the very best kinds of sin 

Tonight we’re playing games we can only win 

Tonight we’re going places that we’ve never been, alright 

Tomorrow's far away when we can stay up all night 

Tomorrow there’ll be hell to pay at first light 

Tomorrow come what may, but I think I might 

Tomorrow’s just a problem we can always fight 

Whaddya say we take this town 

Fire at the city ‘til the walls come down 

Let the mayor know we’ll have his daughter back by dawn 

Too many days we’ve stayed on board staring at the ocean ‘til our eyes grew sore 

This evening’s not for good 

Tonight we’re gonna take this town 

Now baby you and me got a plan we gotta get down too 

And maybe wait see what is what and who is who 

You’ll see me flying high with a motley crew 

Screaming through the streets ‘til my face turns blue with you 

Now let’s dive in and see just how deep this water can get 

Now let’s begin and swim everywhere that it gets wet 

Now I’m a man that almost always pays me debt 

And if you wanna challenge, man, I’ll take that bet 

The clock’ll strike midnight when the night is young 

Hangin’ out back with a bottle of rum 

 

In My Day 
Lyrics: Doss 
Music: Doss, Irwin 

I’ve been to brothels so much I get group rates, 
I’m a glutton and a drunkard, two of my finest traits, 
I’ve stolen kisses, coins and hearts more times than I can count, 
I’m slumbered through my nights at work while out on the account, 

And when the Father comes to me, pray mercy for my sins, 
I must admit, I’ve no regrets, I’d do it all again, 

Majesty and glory, and angel choir awaits, 
Golden roads and mansions just inside those pearly gates, 
No whores no dice, no rums, no fights, 
That’s more than I can pay, 
So don’t speak to me of Heaven, I’ll not see it in my day, 

I’ve been known to hold a grudge or two, 
And maybe cracked some heads, 
I’ve been jealous of what others got, 
So I took it and they bled, 

I’ve been boastful of my glories, 
I’ve been known to break the rules, 
But I’m just a drunken sailor stuck, 
Upon this ship of fools, 

A sin for every sea I’ve sailed, 
All seven have been mine, 
I’ve worked for Kings, 
I’ve slept with Queens, 
Then sailed back to the brine, 

 

Winter Grog 
Lyrics & Music: Irwin 

The songs we sign come easy and the draughts we drink are strong 

So fill my mug with winter grog and warm my aching bones 

Come sing along me hardies a song we know so well 

We’ll fight against the coming night and the ringing of the bell 

For evening comes with sleeping and sleeping comes with dreams 

And dreams are naught but wishes thought by slumber’s flowing streams 

We spent the day a’toiling in fields of dirt and grime 

And evening spent with laughter seems the thing to pass the time 

So fill my heart with laughter and fill my mug with ale 

And fill the room with happy songs and fighting’s vict’ry tales 

And it’s “hey, hey, hey” and we’ll drink away the pain 

And the biting winter chill 

And it’s “hey, hey, hey” and we’ll drink away the day 

Let’s pour some more until we’ve had our fill 

When e’re I was a schoolboy I scarcely would believe 

The time I’d spend in labor hard and tears I’d spend in grief 

But yet I find salvation in drunkenness and vice 

And seek for me a shoulder, please, and my brother’s slurred advice 

Don’t speak to me of purity or straight and narrow roads 

I’ll not be getting saved today or living by your code 

I’ve found the straightest path to peace goes right past the saloon 

So while I’m here let’s have a beer and raise a glass to you 

We sing for absolution as one exalted choir 

We sing for drinks, we sing for free, we sing for hearth and fire 

We sing when we are sober, but mostly when we’re not 

We sing a bawdy melody, we sing with drunken sots 

 

Old Triangle 
Brenden and Dominic Behan 
Arrangement: Hunt 

A hungry feeling came o’er me stealing 

And the mice were squealing in my prison cell 

And the old triangle it went jingle jangle 

All along the banks of the Royal Canal 

To begin the morning the warden’s bawling 

“Get out of bed and clean up your cell!” 

On a fine spring evening the lag lay dreamin’ 

The seagulls squealin’ high above the wall 

The screw was peeping, the lag was sleeping 

While he lay weeping for his girl Sal 

The wind was rising, the day declining 

As I lay pining in my prison cell 

In the female prison there are seventy women 

I wish it was with them that I did dwell 

The day was dying, the wind was sighing 

As I lay crying in my prison cell 

 

Fly With The Wind 
Lyrics & Music: Doss 

Someone told me, just use your head, 

Keep your nose clean, or you'll wind up dead 

Now years later, I still survive, 

I live for the day and I'm still alive. 

Now I'm sure some times 

We all see sunshine 

Cutting through the rain 

Fly with the wind, boys, 

Live like there's no tomorrow, 

Fly with the wind boys, 

Wherever we roam, 

Fly with the wind boys, 

Drown all your doubt and sorrow, 

Fly with the wind, 

Till we get back home 

You only live once, just take a chance, 

Do what you love and come to the dance, 

No regrets now, learn from the ride 

Cause currents of life bring chaotic tide, 

I'm sure some times 

We all see sunshine 

Cutting through the rain, 

There's no need to give up, 

And no need to give in, 

Today can be your day, 

Let your life begin 

 

Danny Boy 
Traditional 
Arrangement: Doss 

 

Young, Dumb, & Full of Rum 
Lyrics & Music: Doss 

I remember Annie’s fanny, 
It looked so good in blue, 
She’d walk by, I’d damn near cry, 
But what else could I do, 

Recalling Sarah’s great long legs, 
Shot straight up to the sky, 
As I looked them up and down, 
I’m damned sure like to die, 

And though I never saw their face or 
Gazed into their eyes, 
Each part of them that grabbed my fancy, 
Seemed to hypnotize, 

And when they’d beckon me that way, 
I knew that I would come, 
‘Cause that’s what pirates do when they are, 
Young, dumb, and full of rum, 

Nancy was the farmer girl, 
Toned muscles down her back, 

When I saw her backside dance, 
I thought that I would crack, 

Was lost in Esmerelda, 
And the way she shook those hips, 

Watching them, rise and fall, 
Like the waves upon my ship, 

And then there’s Kelly’s belly, 
It knew just how to move, 
She could shake it like a snake, 
That girl had such a groove, 

Was drawn to Ruby’s boobies, 
I love to trace them curves, 
She’d bust ‘em out, 
I’d scream and shout and 
Then I’d lose my nerve 

 

Call Of The Sea 
Lyrics & Music: Doss, Nolte 

Oh come all ye sailors and listen to me, 

For many years I’ve ventured these raging seas, 
And I’ve heard the stories of old, 
The weakness of men left so many behind, 
But the rest of our crew yet stands bold, 

The waves, they are crashing, 
The storms, they are thrashing, 
Yet we will stand tall and not bend, 
Our bravery tested, our strength and resolve, 
Will carry us unto the end, 

Hear now the call of the sea, boys, 
The call of the sea, 
So heave to the wind now and hoist up your colors, 
The call of the sea, 

Oh come all ye sailors and listen to me, 
Leave all of your worries behind, 
There’s no need for suffering, 
No need to fight, 
Just ease all your body and mind, 
Give into serenity, loose your identity, 
Body and soul will align, 

Keep dreaming of gold and your riches untold, 
And think of the wonders you’ll find, 

Hear now the call of the sea, boys, 
The call of the sea, 
So heave to and follow, 
It’s time that you heed, 
The call of the sea, 

Strong one, Gallant, 
No need to fear let your conscience be clear, 
And be brave and valiant, 
Harken to me let your soul now be free of your, 

Ghastly pallor, 
You will find peace and your troubles will cease if you, 
Prove your valour, 
Come now be mine, our souls will be bound for all time, 

My mind it screamed warning and cautioned me true, 
But my weak body would not refrain, 
I knew in my heart that she would be my doom, 
Still I wanted her just the same, 

I gazed in her eyes and I 
Felt hypnotized and I, 
Lost all my senses and time, 

Sleep now young sailor and go take your rest, 
Your body and soul now are mine 

 

Lay Me Down 
Lyrics & Music: Doss 

You call me a villain, you call me a beast, 

You treat me like subhuman filth,so vile, 

A walking disease, 

You tell me to feel, bad for all that I've done, 

But every decision I've made has made me the man I've become 

When the hangman comes for me, I shall not fear, 

When the rope grips tight on my throat, 

The only request I have let to ask is to throw me deep in the float 

Just lay me down in the waters below,  

When my time has come I relinquish my soul 

Just lay me down in the waters below  

Down in the depths of the oceans where my flesh is lost to the flow 

I will not bend, I will not break, 

Though my life it now hangs in your hands, 

It is yours to take, 

I will not bow, I will not yield, 

I will not worry for my crimes committed, 

Cause my fate is sealed 

Down below the seas of old when I depart my soul lives on 

Down below the seas of old when I depart, my soul 

Ashes to ashes works well for a man 

That's wasted his days on the land, 

But ocean to ocean is where I belong, 

On this, I must demand 

 

Rolling Home 
Traditional 

Up aloft amid the rigging swiftly blows a favorin’ gale 

Strong as springtime in its blossom filling out each swelling sail 

Rollin’ home, rollin’ home 

Rollin’ home across the sea 

Rollin’ home to dear old England 

Rollin’ home, dear land, to thee 

For ten thousand miles behind us and a thousand miles before 

Ancient ocean waves to waft us to the well-remembered shore 

Call all hands to man the captain, see the cable run down clear 

Heave away and with the will boys, for old England we will steer 

 

Tender Farewells 
Lyrics: Irwin 
Music: Doss 

One day long ago, I said I would love you 

And you swore you’d be loyal to me without end 

And year after year I knew I’d die for you 

And you’d teach me to be a better man 

Ow the road’s taken a twist and our lives taken a turn 

And it’s hard to remember those happier days 

But standing before you with your sweet eyes crying 

Finally, I’ve found the best words I can say 

Adios and au revoir 

Aufweidersehenn and sayonara 

Arrivederci seems to say it all 

Buy a ticket for the bus, hit the road and kick some rocks 

I hope you have a nice trip and a fall 

I hate to draw this out so I’ll leave with one last thought 

What’s the fastest way to say piss off 

I remember when we met, I thought I’d found the one for me 

We’d grow old hand-in-hand and side-by-side 

And day by day we grew to love the little quirks ‘bout each of us 

And I said, “Someday I’ll make this girl by bride” 

Well we had a good run for a while, walked together for some miles 

Built some history to fill our past 

When I looked into your eyes I saw a bit of what I liked 

And thought my days alone were done at last 

But all good things must reach an end 

And this is surely one of them, kiss my ass 

So many words for goodbye 

And from the bottom of my heart, I mean every one 

Now, I don’t want you to leave and think of me poorly 

I always will think of the days at the start 

And though the tears strain us and miles come between us 

There’s still some of you in my heart 

And now when I think o four time spent together 

I get a sharp stabbing pain deep in my brain 

And I start to realize you’re terrible for me 

And your place in my heart is just clogging my veins 

Bye Felicia, ciao, shalom 

Cheerio and toodaloo 

Deuces girl, I have to say, “I’m out” 

Later gator, bon voyage 

Start the car and close the garage 

Take a long walk off a shortened pier 

I just had to let you know to G-T-F-O 

What’s the fastest way to say piss off 

 

Bard’s Lament 
Lyrics: Irwin 

I’ve been a wild rover for many a year 

And I’ve ruined a building with chili and beer 

They ask me to sing something everyone knows 

And I flatly refuse because all these songs blow 

And it’s no, nay never, no, nay, never, no more 

Will I sing that damned fair song like thousands before 

Heading down south to the land of the pines 

I’m thumbing my way into North Caroline 

Traveling down the road and I pray to God I don’t have to sing this 

I made it to fair and sang for hours 

And almost got out before my mood turned sour 

But one of my fans just demands I play this song 

I don’t wanna sing the wagon wheel 

I’m just singing like an imbecile 

Hey, crowds all mock me 

I can’t get that melody out of my brain 

It gets inside me like a sharp chest pain 

Hey, won’t you flog me 

Hey, songs I won’t sing 

What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning 

Wey hey, up she rises early in the morning 

What do you sing when the songs are awful? 

All your options are unlawful 

Nothing rhymes...belgian waffle?! 

Early in the morning 

Wey hey, I won’t sing it 

Shut it down, that’s the ticket 

Bring me bleach, I swear I’ll drink it! 

All these songs are boring! 

As I was going over the Cork and Kerry Mountains 

Even my own band is not immune to this dull shouting 

It’s on each list of fair songs, everybody knows the chorus 

And everyone at faire can find it like your mom’s...